Embracing Chaos

Hooo boy.

Have I been busy? Indeed I have.

Since my last post (and the relatively large GAP between the last post and this one should provide some clues here), I have been simultaneously stressed to the core as well as, well, busy. Very very busy.

School started up again, of course. And with that, the school decided to pretty much pick up where it left off pre-holiday break and inundate us with work right off the bat.

In the past three weeks, I've had two major assignments to do (presentation, reflection - joys), I've been (re-)introduced to two term-long major assignments (unit projects for both curriculum classes), more presentations (TES, resource in FSL), and I find myself in a situation where for the first time all year, I might have to hand in an assignment late.

This past week was the worst of it, so far. Between things occurring in my personal life (being cryptic is the key to success) and the monumental workload I've had to endure, I more or less began to succumb to what I'm pretty sure was a series of minor panic attacks. Nothing serious, just me entering a catatonic state, perpetually contemplating where my life is right now, and having to come to terms with the fact that I have had to apply to jobs so that I might actually begin my career, and what if they don't like me, what if I get a crap job, what if I can't get a job at all, what if I screw up next practicum--

Etc. Etc.

I understand that our program must be compacted in a certain way in order to allow for our two practicums and our internship, and still be done the program in about 8 months, but given that I am not the only one in this state of mind, it's difficult to say that what we're forced to endure is in any way "good".

Let me return a second to the "applying for jobs" part of this post which I alluded to in my string of panic above. The reason why I have bothered posting today is because today, I finally sent in my application to the Toronto District School Board, thereby commencing my first round of board applications. I intend on also applying for the York Region District School Board, and perhaps for fun, either the Upper Grand District School Board (and maybe move back to Guelph?) or the Grand Erie District School Board (the board in which I experienced my own formative education). I'm gunning for the TDSB or the YRDSB, for obvious reasons of convenience. Given the language evident on the UGDSB website, the idea of getting a job there currently might be a bit of a pipe dream.

It's an exciting day, even though my language might seem to indicate that it is not. I am slightly skeptical in nature, and hesitant to state that my dream job will simply land in my lap (in contrast to what was told to us by someone at a presentation who had *just that* happen in her professional life - good for her, but this is not the norm).

It's mildly comforting to know that one of my askew puzzle tiles has finally been fitted into place - I have confirmed my internship for May. What's nice about this internship is that it opens up into an employment opportunity, which is very important to me, especially given my aforementioned skepticism.

Providing that I survive this semester, I will be excited to simply get a job. Any education-related job (that I enjoy).