Saturday, April 16, 2011

Curtain Call

How apt is it that I have chosen to write this latest introspective on a train, the location of my first post to this blog. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you read what I write), the tone of this particular post will be a little different.

First of all, I never had a chance to do a follow-up post talking about how my practicum ended. Suffice it to say that it ended as well as it began, and that I am pleased to have had the positive experiences I have had in both practica, since I know that is the exception rather than the norm. I even had the delightful chance to express my disdain over the "pastoral visit" I received (as referenced in my previous post) on an official level, which was wholly satisfying. It's interesting that my testimony regarding the visit I received was not unique in nature, and I doubt it will go unactioned. Thank goodness.

So where am I now (aside from pulling up to a train station about an hour away from my destination)? For all intents and purposes, I should be pretty happy. Teacher's College is effectively over. I have an assignment due this Monday (which will be submitted by a friend of mine, since I will be several hundred kilometers away from school), and then I get a small break before my delightful and amazing internship wherein I get to romp around a park for a month. It's educational, of course.

As I said, I should be pretty happy, but instead, I am pretty unhappy.

My previous post ended with the declaration that my grandfather might not make it through March Break. He made it through the week, but he passed away this Thursday. I'm not sure that I am in the right mental space to make any sort of further comment on that at all. He lived a long life, and he ultimately passed peacefully and pain-free, which is the ideal, isn't it?

Which brings me to today. I'm en route home to visit family and gain some closure.

I want to devote the end of this entry to some seemingly-necessary cheesiness.

Hug your family.

Visit your grandparents.

It doesn't matter if you don't want to, do it.

Don't make excuses.

If they have the mental space to do so, ask them about their lives. They like that kind of stuff.

If you disagree with their point of view on a political issue, remember that they come from a different generation and brush it off.

Make sure you take the time to build positive memories with them, because once their time ends on this planet, those memories will be all that is left.

Don't be left with raging guilt like me.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

From the Outside

I remember learning how to make shelters in Pathfinders. Our leaders took us into the forest on some conservation grounds outside of town. We were given small hatchets and a fanny pack of supplies - water-resistant matches, iodine tablets (in case we desperately needed drinking water outside of our recently-filled ones we would be bringing with us), rope, granola bars, an emergency blanket and a tarp which had been machine-folded into a really tiny volatile square that, if you weren't careful, could probably take your eye out when you opened it. First, the leaders showed us how to find dead wood and create a basic lean-to. Then they showed us how to make the lean-to weather-resistant with the tarp. While they showed us how to create these shelters, they also invited us to come up and see what knots they were using, even allowing us the chance to try it out, gently critiquing us if we instead created a knot which would make our shelter completely useless. After they built their own shelters, we went over the steps together. They ensured that we knew what we were doing, and then they sent us into the woods in pairs to build our own. Provided that the shelters we created passed a few survival checks, we would be able to sleep in them that night, should we choose to do so. We'd get a badge in the morning if we succeeded.

This memory also serves as an interesting analogy about my experiences in Teacher's College, particularly practicum.

My curriculum instructors are, in essence, (former) teachers who are reminiscent of old Pathfinder leaders in charge of a group of future leaders. Ultimately, we should have received the same level of instruction entering practicum as when I learned how to build lean-tos. Demonstration. Modeling. Guided practice. Check for understanding. Verification of comprehension. Goal achieved.

Unfortunately, entering this practicum, I felt as though my French curriculum instructor had simply given me the hatchet and the fanny pack and didn't quite bother to teach me how to create a shelter for the night. And then she came back the next morning and wondered why I hadn't created a shelter which was to her liking.

Long analogy aside, let me dive into my recap.

My practicum is still an amazing and wonderful experience. However, my French curriculum instructor came to visit me last Tuesday, and that experience was not quite as magical as it could have been.

"You know you're using ______________ method, right?" *sarcastic laugh*

"Why are you speaking so much English to them? You should be speaking all French."

"The textbook doesn't teach French in this way, why are you not using the textbook?"

"If you aren't speaking French to them, they aren't learning."

And that is a sampling of the "pastoral visit" I received from my curriculum instructor. She came in, observed my ESL/FSL classroom, didn't bother to speak to my AT to find out why I would be speaking any English at all, and then rudely commented on what was, invariably, a combination of my AT's style of teaching and mine.

Nevermind the fact that I read a story to my class in French, and that I sought for listening comprehension via questions in French. And that I used grand gestures with my arms to point to parts of the giant pictures I had created the night before for that specific class. And that the major reason I spoke any English at all was for administrative affairs and to make sure that the extremely low-level ESL students knew what the hell was going on, and even that communication was less in English than in my use of an English-Hungarian dictionary for key words.

And then she wondered why her reaction to my lesson was not well-received.

In fact, she stressed me out so badly that I sat in front of her and cried while she began to profusely apologize for antagonizing me the way she did.

It was not constructive. It was mean. It lacked an understanding of the class as I received in my week of teaching in that classroom. It was exemplary of the fact that I felt as though I received very little instruction from her prior to entering this particular practicum. She couldn't be assed to build a shelter in front of me so I could see how it is done, and then she kicked over the one I built myself.

I know that I shouldn't worry about it, or about her, because when I get out into the world of teaching, I will develop my own style anyway. But I felt a distinct urge to point out just how incredibly off and unwelcome her presence was in my class, and how off-putting her comments were to me after her "observation".

To top it all off, my grandfather is on his last legs, and may possibly not make it through March Break.

And that's really all I have to say for now.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Status Report


Il fait beau.

That's actually a flashcard I made for one of my French classes. I got to teach them about the weather.

And that's about what my week has been like, to be honest. Il fait beau.

I have been digging the challenge so far of introducing French as an Additional Language to students who are also English language learners themselves. There's a really interesting dynamic within the classroom. All of my students have never experienced French language learning before entering this particular class, so the class starts from the basics. Alphabet. Pronunciation. Basic vocabulary. We haven't even really covered the parts of a sentence yet...I get to introduce verb conjugation (just...verbs in general, present tense of regular ER verbs) after March Break, and we're anticipating that it might take the entire two weeks post-MB to do so.

But there's another snag. Since all of my students are English language learners, there is already a language barrier because I speak English. So I have been trying to speak French in the classroom so they can get as much modified input as possible, but there is a great challenge in attempting to explain exercises to them. If I speak French even at a very slow pace to explain something, they grow even more confused...mainly because they've never really received any input in French whatsoever before the semester started. If I speak English to them to explain an activity, sometimes I get the same confused expression. It is an exercise in scaffolded communication, and I absolutely and genuinely dig the challenge.

If I can teach these guys French, I think I can teach anyone French.

And now, at 10pm on the Sunday night before Week 2, I marvel at how, once again, practicum seems to be moving at the speed of light.

This week, I'm going to poke my nose in on (hopefully) some kind of extracurricular activity so I can get involved with the school community. I also need to plan and create a culminating task with a carefully-scaffolded rubric in plain and simple language. I need to grab at the challenge of planning a unit on Haiti for the grade 10 class (which is in a world of its own, let me tell you - I don't get to take over that class fully until after March Break). And lastly, I need to pull myself into the here and now so I can plan a lesson that my curriculum instructor will observe and "evaluate" on Tuesday morning.

But yes, to sum up...I'm not only surviving practicum, but I seem to be thriving. The challenge of teaching an additional language is interesting and exhilarating. Not to mention that I am teaching the language to a class full of people who seem to actually want to learn.

Il fait beau indeed.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Great Equalizer

It feels incredibly strange that Practicum 2 is just around the corner.

In fact, orientation days were yesterday and today. Well, I guess I should say, orientation DAY was yesterday. Today was a PA day for schools in my board (which would normally mean that teachers would be attending workshops for professional development), and my practicum school told all of the teacher candidates to just stay home and have the day off.

I like this school already.

It's very different from the school where I did my first practicum, but in a good way. This school is located in a part of town that is known as having a high immigrant population. The street on which the school is located is referred to commonly as the "landing strip", because the affordable housing in the area provides easy lodging for those who have just arrived in the country.

The result of having such a high amount of diversity within the school is a magnificent sense of community unlike any other that I have seen.

During orientation day yesterday, I got to attend an assembly put on my one of the school's cultural associations. It was a celebration of a certain holiday that's coming up. The air in the auditorium during this "assembly" was absolutely electric. The event was organized almost entirely by students, and included videos, dancers, singers, and a fashion show. Each aspect of the show was accompanied by rousing cheers by the student body. The support demonstrated by the students for this cultural celebration was inspiring.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that the secret word of the day yesterday was "inspiring", because there were many moments during the day that left me in awe.

It's quite nice that I get to spend my dreaded French practicum in this amazing school environment.

It's funny, though. I dreaded this practicum so much, but when I found out what classes my AT teaches, and how she's teaching them...it was, well...inspiring.

Somewhere in the writer's condo, a bell rings and confetti falls to the floor.

So here's what I get to teach:

* Grade 10 Academic/Enriched Pre-IB French (Yes, that's a mouthful...I forgot to mention that this place is an IB World School)
* Grade 9 Applied French for Beginners (A class for English language learners to get their French credit)
* TBD

My AT only teaches two classes this semester (a semestered school, thank goodness), so we're going to work together to maybe find me a third class to teach with another teacher. Or something. I don't know. Frankly, I'd be content with just the two classes. They're going to be veeeeery interesting.

The grade 10 class is going to be an absolute joy, because I will be helping my AT with their first unit, which will be on la Francophonie d'ailleurs...which means that we're going to be actively studying different Francophone regions in the world outside of France and Canada. They're starting with the Acadian diaspora in Louisiana.

The writer flails joyfully in her computer chair.

Oh man, French for beginners. The textbook is just...wow. It's from the 80s, and it still thinks that France uses the Franc and that its denizens have terrible hair. It's going to be a mission of mine to do something about this awful textbook. I'm probably going to use it for things like...vocabulary. That might be the extent of it. I have a week to plan lessons, because I start teaching that class first when I officially start practicum.

Unfortunately, I have to snap back into reality, because typing out that last sentence reminds me that we do, in fact, have an extra week of school, and that this last week before practicum is full of due dates. Everyone I know at school has at least two assignments due next week, so...here's hoping we all survive the week and can begin Practicum 2 in one piece!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

An Ode to Luck

In the past, I've tended to be that person that everyone thinks is "so lucky".

Of course, by past, I do mean from about grade nine forward, since I don't think anyone could possibly believe that I had any luck in my middle school years.

Anyway.

I've been lucky because...

...everything I ever auditioned for in Drama Club in high school, I would get.

...if there was a job I REALLY TRULY wanted, I would get it.

...I was able to get into my Master's program despite only finishing my undergrad with a 78% average.

...I was able to get into Teacher's College despite...only finishing my undergrad with a 78% average.

...I *could have had* the opportunity to study with a scholar I admire in Pennsylvania, should I have chosen not to DO Teacher's College.

...Since finding out where my second practicum will be, I have had the distinct pleasure of doing both of my practicums in schools in the area that are both influential in this school board.

There are other examples, but I'll leave off there.

What's unfortunate is that I think my luck might have finally run out. I still haven't gotten a phone call from the only board to which I bothered applying so far for an interview. I feel like I am at a stage where I need to begin contemplating a Plan B.

The mere idea that there MUST be a Plan B is in itself incredibly depressing. Everyone seemed oh so certain that I would get a teaching position.

"Oh, your teachables are French and History?! Of COURSE you'll get a job. Everyone wants French teachers!"

Of *course* I'll get a job. That's why I'm sitting in front of my computer, fevered, wrapped in two blankets, typing furiously and glancing at my phone every 30 seconds or so, attempting to will it to ring. Waiting to see if maybe my "luckiness" will actually do me good once again. Always waiting. Always questioning.

Maybe I should've gotten that PhD instead.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Embracing Chaos

Hooo boy.

Have I been busy? Indeed I have.

Since my last post (and the relatively large GAP between the last post and this one should provide some clues here), I have been simultaneously stressed to the core as well as, well, busy. Very very busy.

School started up again, of course. And with that, the school decided to pretty much pick up where it left off pre-holiday break and inundate us with work right off the bat.

In the past three weeks, I've had two major assignments to do (presentation, reflection - joys), I've been (re-)introduced to two term-long major assignments (unit projects for both curriculum classes), more presentations (TES, resource in FSL), and I find myself in a situation where for the first time all year, I might have to hand in an assignment late.

This past week was the worst of it, so far. Between things occurring in my personal life (being cryptic is the key to success) and the monumental workload I've had to endure, I more or less began to succumb to what I'm pretty sure was a series of minor panic attacks. Nothing serious, just me entering a catatonic state, perpetually contemplating where my life is right now, and having to come to terms with the fact that I have had to apply to jobs so that I might actually begin my career, and what if they don't like me, what if I get a crap job, what if I can't get a job at all, what if I screw up next practicum--

Etc. Etc.

I understand that our program must be compacted in a certain way in order to allow for our two practicums and our internship, and still be done the program in about 8 months, but given that I am not the only one in this state of mind, it's difficult to say that what we're forced to endure is in any way "good".

Let me return a second to the "applying for jobs" part of this post which I alluded to in my string of panic above. The reason why I have bothered posting today is because today, I finally sent in my application to the Toronto District School Board, thereby commencing my first round of board applications. I intend on also applying for the York Region District School Board, and perhaps for fun, either the Upper Grand District School Board (and maybe move back to Guelph?) or the Grand Erie District School Board (the board in which I experienced my own formative education). I'm gunning for the TDSB or the YRDSB, for obvious reasons of convenience. Given the language evident on the UGDSB website, the idea of getting a job there currently might be a bit of a pipe dream.

It's an exciting day, even though my language might seem to indicate that it is not. I am slightly skeptical in nature, and hesitant to state that my dream job will simply land in my lap (in contrast to what was told to us by someone at a presentation who had *just that* happen in her professional life - good for her, but this is not the norm).

It's mildly comforting to know that one of my askew puzzle tiles has finally been fitted into place - I have confirmed my internship for May. What's nice about this internship is that it opens up into an employment opportunity, which is very important to me, especially given my aforementioned skepticism.

Providing that I survive this semester, I will be excited to simply get a job. Any education-related job (that I enjoy).

Monday, January 3, 2011

New ___________

It is a custom around these parts that at the start of a new year, you have to make resolutions. I've had bad luck with resolutions in the past, so instead, I tend to make recommendations.

It is recommended that I keep practising my French so I can be the best French teacher possible.

It is recommended that I enlarge my library of history books (Canadian, mostly) so that I can be the best History teacher possible.

It is recommended that I utilize my newly-purchased copy of Wii Fit at least once a day, at least 20 minutes per day.

It is recommended that I find a job related to my career path, the sooner the better.

It is recommended that I begin planning my wedding, date TBD (but probably 2012).

It is recommended that I keep trying new recipes so that I can be more comfortable in the kitchen.

See? Resolutions aren't so bad or so unfeasible if I call them recommendations. Besides, I really need to be doing all of those things anyway, especially the "finding a job" part.

Which brings me to the next point on the agenda. Just before school let out for the holidays, I attended a Professional Preparation Conference. The name sounds big and fancy, but it was more or less a glorified job fair, with added firepowerworkshops. The most important part of the "conference" was the last day, when school boards from this part of the province (and beyond) set up tables and talked about why we should flood our resumes into their offices for consideration. Being a reasonable and realistic person, I got information from as many different school boards (as well as from many different non-school education job prospects) as possible. One consistent fact that I heard from most of those presentations is that January is the month to start sending in applications.

It is now January. (Duh.)

I spent some time just before the holidays polishing up my resume, which I will send to my unwitting friends for review before I fix it up further and save it as a PDF. Then I have to write three or four different cover letters, one for each school board/non-school education job, using the template that we were shown during the presentation on the first day of the conference. At some point this month, I will have to send out all of these resumes and cover letters befitting the requirements of each school board (through a third-party site or to the school board/employer itself).

Oh, and I have an interview for an internship on Wednesday.

I'm tired already.

On top of all of that, the new semester has begun. Luckily, I still get Mondays off. I no longer have the luxury of Wednesdays off, though, as my elective happens at 8:30 in the freaking morning.

Finally, some thoughts on World of Warcraft's new expansion, Cataclysm.

(No, I will not make a separate post...this post has an on-going theme of "newness", so this is probably the best time in which to discuss this bastion of nerdiness. If you want to avoid the nerdiness, now's a good time to stop reading.)

With my free time over the holidays, I got to play quite a bit of Cataclysm. Quite a bit. My moonkin is level 85, and she is fully kitted out and ready to raid. The drastic shifts in the gameplay for most classes has kept the game interesting going into its seventh year, and Blizzard has renewed its license to print money.

I feel a little bad for healers, since healing in general took a serious blow to the face. However, it's for the best. In WotLK, healers could close their eyes and make random clicks and folks would stay alive. Now healers have to relearn their respective classes and employ some strategy, effectively weeding out those who cannot make the change. Adapt or die, etc.

The current endgame is no joke. Crowd control (an expression which will be completely foreign to people who only started playing last expac) is required in instances again. This time around, though, more DPS classes have some kind of reasonable CC and some kind of silence or interrupt available to them, thereby encouraging Blizzard's policy of "bring the player, not the class".

As for the actual raiding scene...as I stated in the beginning, my moonkin is ready for raids, but has not stepped foot in one just yet. Apparently, my 10-man is going to start up either this week or next, and I will probably have to restrict my playtime to once a week, depending on what night becomes our designated "raid night". I volunteered to put myself on a DPS rotation with my good friend's rogue so that she may be able to see the content and so that I may be able to step aside and do schoolwork if necessary. It's a win-win scenario.

Of course, S will disagree with that...but that's because S wants to raid with me. WoW is kinda *our thing*...but I anticipate that he will get used to the new arrangement, and it really will be better for all of us in the long run. I will still be able to excel in school, and my 10-man will still be able to raid. I'm very excited.

And with that feeling of excitement, I will bring this post to a close. 2011 is a new year with new prospects, new interests, and (hopefully) a new job on the horizon. I am anxious to see what the next 12 months hold.